Doing the next right thing

I’m getting even more insight into just how back and white my thinking can be and the dangers associated with that.

If the day starts badly, my temptation is to write the whole thing off and try again tomorrow. Which can sound OK until you realise that I can use that as an excuse to restrict a few meals in a row or put in an extra bit of exercise, because if I’ve already ruined today then why not ruin it properly?

There is a real fault in the logic. So the new default I’m aiming for is: ‘What is the next right thing to do?’.

• I may just have run 5 minutes longer than planned, so what is the next right thing to do? Maybe an extra slice of cheese with lunch.
• I’ve procrastinated and frittered away the morning, so there is no point in trying to get any work done now … or is there? What is the next right thing I can do now to make the most of what is left of the day?
• I’ve restricted on breakfast, so what is the next right thing to do? Make sure that I hit my goals for morning tea and lunch.
• I’ve just eaten more than I planned for afternoon snack, what is the next right thing to do? Sit and eat a balanced dinner, not skip it and set myself up for a binge later in the evening.

A day is never going to be perfect or ‘right’. It doesn’t need to come together in exactly the way I envisaged to make it worthwhile. Sometimes rolling with the punches will lead to a better outcome in the end. So when I’m feeling stuck or overwhelmed, I’m going to try and ask myself – what is the next right thing I can do? Then I need to follow through.

The lies we believe

I discovered a draft i’d written but not published. It was pretty raw:

‘This week I’ve been tempted to believe:
– the world would be a better place if I wasn’t in it
– I’m a drain and a burden on everyone
– that losing weight would solve all my problems
– If I’m not achieving or doing, I’m nothing
– no one really likes me, they just put up with me’

Where do these thoughts and feelings come from? There are deep seated fears that I am worthless and hopeless and my friends will eventually get sick of me. Yet the evidence doesn’t quite add up to that. I have friends who have stood by me for years, who when I express some of those uncertainties, remind me that they don’t like me in spite of all those things that I see are wrong with me, but are my friends because of who I am. My weight, achievements, success or lack thereof doesn’t matter to them.

So I keep working to challenge and reframe my thinking. To stop trying to ‘measure’ everything, whether weight or words written or kms ran. I stop to give thanks to God for who he is and all that he has done for me. And I eat even when I don’t want to, because I know that it will bring me life.

Hello world!

I’m new here – ready to share some of the joys and struggles that is longing for recovery from an eating disorder.